a letter

how have u been i wonder
i still wonder sometimes if i didnt act rash. all that what if and what not and all the other ifs
i still revisit those dark times nearing my cycles.
and i guess silence is much preferred because there are so many unspoken things i wish to say,those time gaps and little events i want to fill u in yet i find myself lost in words

my world has grown my brain has perhaps grown more mature. yet i dont feel any lighter in spirit. if i were to choose i prefer to stay where i was because those times i truly felt happy.

in my quest for medicine, medicine has shown me that all along i am trying to medicate myself as well. if medicine was teaching me anything its damn well that human lives are fragile and as much as it feels like we are gods, we never were gods. and that later on, medicine is just a job and never was a life. 

I feel inspired

There is a professor in medicine that i truly respect.
Respect is earned, not sought for neither can it be forced.

This is one professor that i think truly care and bothers to teach properly. Hence any critism and screamings i dont mind. really its for my own betterment. Someday when i am grey and old,i wish i can acheived such standards. Medicine is all about practice, wisdom and experience. the older the ginger the more spicy it is so goes the saying

This is what i noticed is that when this professor walks into the ward, everyone (all layers of staff) gives her a respectful greeting of good morning or whatever. this respect can be felt from the tone of the voice. Everyone approaches this particular professor whenever challenging cases or crucial clinical judgement opinion is sought for. Its pretty amazing scene to watch. There is no such 'i am superior than  u' ego here, theres joke whenever appropriate, even with students. Its rare. honestly the higher ranks people are too obsessed about their superiority.

Who else goes early to wards check every case before allocating it to us students to ensure we get the best case to learn. None of the other professors do that from what ive seen. Truly admire such dedication.

:) by far this is the most inspiring person in medicine. someday, i want to be just like that. with such teachers, how to not withstand the urge to work properly? i hope i can rise high to the expectation.