It takes a human baby on an average of 12 months to stand, 18 months to walk.
Ironically, i am undergoing this developmental milestone currently.
i find it ironic that in sickness, we tend to regress our milestones and in recovery we progress again through it.
It was last week i think, that i found out i could walk quite steadily without crutches. of course my gait was like a baby. it was broad based,my hips compensating my weak legs and my stronger leg took most of my weight. nevertheless, i had felt victorious at that particular moment. the amazement i felt was enormous, i guess this is how babies feel when they took their first steps.
it takes 1 month to notice my leg muscles begin to atrophy. the physio ppl pointed out that i had at least 1cm of muscle discrepancy. this had sent the alarm bells ringing in my head. shrinking muscle mass, weaker leg, means i was going to lose my leg what will be the point of surgery and the endless physio attendance? at this point in time, i have to admit, i find my leg ugly. i have caught myself staring at peoples knees these days, admiring the natural contour of their knees, the flexibility and the scarless knee. embeded on my knee now is 2 cruciate incision, im begining to regard it as 2 crosses of christainity. the 1 inch long scar below the 2 crosses is the one that i find disfiguring. the raw, pinky area below and around it, the blackish dot from the absorbable sutures. this area is pretty tender, it itches now alternating with superficial pain.
as much as i like to think my physio sessions are like going to gym, it seems more of a boot camp now. the ever increasing weight strapped on my leg, the leg breaking straight leg raises leaves me to believe i am totally not fit. much to my excitement of new exercises with each sessions,it also gets harder. i wonder if the physio ppl notices my red face during the sessions because they have the tendency to ask me repeatedly in a cherry merry tone if i am ok.
ive seen an atheletic patient who is post op for a month able to walk normally. there was an awe expression on my face, i jealously wish i was as fit as him. while i was doing my stretches,he was already doing squats and sideway walk on the threadmill. I dont know if i found inspiration by looking at him or i burrowed deeper into self pity.
well,time will tell is it not?
Ironically, i am undergoing this developmental milestone currently.
i find it ironic that in sickness, we tend to regress our milestones and in recovery we progress again through it.
It was last week i think, that i found out i could walk quite steadily without crutches. of course my gait was like a baby. it was broad based,my hips compensating my weak legs and my stronger leg took most of my weight. nevertheless, i had felt victorious at that particular moment. the amazement i felt was enormous, i guess this is how babies feel when they took their first steps.
it takes 1 month to notice my leg muscles begin to atrophy. the physio ppl pointed out that i had at least 1cm of muscle discrepancy. this had sent the alarm bells ringing in my head. shrinking muscle mass, weaker leg, means i was going to lose my leg what will be the point of surgery and the endless physio attendance? at this point in time, i have to admit, i find my leg ugly. i have caught myself staring at peoples knees these days, admiring the natural contour of their knees, the flexibility and the scarless knee. embeded on my knee now is 2 cruciate incision, im begining to regard it as 2 crosses of christainity. the 1 inch long scar below the 2 crosses is the one that i find disfiguring. the raw, pinky area below and around it, the blackish dot from the absorbable sutures. this area is pretty tender, it itches now alternating with superficial pain.
as much as i like to think my physio sessions are like going to gym, it seems more of a boot camp now. the ever increasing weight strapped on my leg, the leg breaking straight leg raises leaves me to believe i am totally not fit. much to my excitement of new exercises with each sessions,it also gets harder. i wonder if the physio ppl notices my red face during the sessions because they have the tendency to ask me repeatedly in a cherry merry tone if i am ok.
ive seen an atheletic patient who is post op for a month able to walk normally. there was an awe expression on my face, i jealously wish i was as fit as him. while i was doing my stretches,he was already doing squats and sideway walk on the threadmill. I dont know if i found inspiration by looking at him or i burrowed deeper into self pity.
well,time will tell is it not?
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