It has been 4 months since graduation. jobless and losing autonomy in my own life is the greatest frustruation currently.
the asian family culture is to brush everything under the carpet. there are countless times whereby i expressed my wishes about my future plans. i wasnt going into some crazy ideas, i wasnt going to do drugs or anything illegal. many people would laugh at my humble request. i wanted to be left alone, to read and to spend some time with myself. as much as this is a logical and acceptable request in the modern world, something discussed about frequently in palliative care, and very much encouraged in buddhism, these are still strange requests in the times of very conservative relatives.
i had graduated and i was on the path of becoming a real doctor yet my household still thinks i an a little kid, one to dote on and to controlled. people who thinks that they know what i want best is an idiot. they have failed to realise that this is the root cause of all rebellions and suffering. why cant there be mutual respect on both sides? i blame this on the asian culture and i blame myself for being a visionary of my own life.
no wonder medical schools counsel the family before admission. i have given up explaining what i do to anyone and that continous learning is the core of medicine. as a friend rightly quoted 'the nearest and dearest to us are the most difficult ones'.
this is going to be a continous battle. one that chews off my sanity and psychological well being.
empathy was my key strategy but now its still going nowhere.
to what extend this should be tolerated i wonder.
the asian family culture is to brush everything under the carpet. there are countless times whereby i expressed my wishes about my future plans. i wasnt going into some crazy ideas, i wasnt going to do drugs or anything illegal. many people would laugh at my humble request. i wanted to be left alone, to read and to spend some time with myself. as much as this is a logical and acceptable request in the modern world, something discussed about frequently in palliative care, and very much encouraged in buddhism, these are still strange requests in the times of very conservative relatives.
i had graduated and i was on the path of becoming a real doctor yet my household still thinks i an a little kid, one to dote on and to controlled. people who thinks that they know what i want best is an idiot. they have failed to realise that this is the root cause of all rebellions and suffering. why cant there be mutual respect on both sides? i blame this on the asian culture and i blame myself for being a visionary of my own life.
no wonder medical schools counsel the family before admission. i have given up explaining what i do to anyone and that continous learning is the core of medicine. as a friend rightly quoted 'the nearest and dearest to us are the most difficult ones'.
this is going to be a continous battle. one that chews off my sanity and psychological well being.
empathy was my key strategy but now its still going nowhere.
to what extend this should be tolerated i wonder.
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