Part 5

Sai told me after i moved, tears would stream down whenever Sai passed places we have been together. I didnt take this seriously, i was arrogant, in my mind i was glad sai is going through what i had gone through in our 2 weeks war. 

I was an idiot. If only i had realised that this is how deep our friendship was. 

The same has happened to me as well. Some memories about sai would pop up into my mind sometimes. Like how during my electives i had wanted to text and share something ive come across relevant to our previous communication. Or some things which we have done before together. It feels hollow when such things occur because i know Sai is no longer here. And we have turned into strangers,seperated by time, distance and hostility. 

I remember on my last night Sai was holding me and out of the sudden muttered 'i know i have to forget all of this one day. i will have to get over it and we both have to learn to live without one another'. I was speechless. When i remembered this, Sai was gone. Maybe when Sai had uttered this, Sai had foreseen this was bound to happen. Or perhaps Sai had chosen to sacrifice me. 

One day, sai brought me for lunch in  a shop called paradise. somewhere near the beach. i find it amusing now i recall it. Going to paradise with sai is paradise. I still remember i ate something sai liked, but it was new to me. pineapple cherry cheese in a stick. 

I told my friend if there is one thing i regret, it is going to be sai. It is rare to meet someone whom you can get close to,to be yourself,to share birthdays a day apart. My friend asked me what is it that sai is so different from my other friends? Because, sai was special to me and sai had touched my heart. Because when sai left, my naiivity left as well. Because after that i was skeptical and i believed i would never met someone like sai.

I also remembered sai calling me obsessed.

If obsession was like this, why do i feel the pain over and over again. if obsession can be cured by time why it isnt cured now? 

Someone asked me if i was in love. I sounded like i was. Now if i were to re-answer it, i would say Sai was like my other hand. Its that close.