I have heard this talk sometime ago, it just struck my mind just now.
A mother who had given birth to a stillborn baby was grieving,and she was struck with anger towards as why this had happened to her. Someone asked her, if given a choice,would u rather not have conceived this baby in the first place?
the mother obviously said no. it was worth it.
the reason why i thought about this was i had forgotten to ask myself a very important question.
given a chance, would i not known X?
i would answer what the mother answered above.
i only realised how much good things that had happened to me after X left. i was too busy focusing on the part X left, blamed myself and X. getting angry, sad and then hurt. its a viscious cycle.
i understood the above story but i understood it with my mind. i didnt accept it.
all this while, i think i own X. because of this i lost my individuality,maybe brought pain to X for my behaviour. because i think i owned X and its for this reason i think X should give in to whatever i ask for because this is how property ownership works.
what i didnt really get it was X came, shared a part of my life and left for her adventure. i wanted more and more of X. really.
the next time i start my mental torture i will again ask myself the same question.
i did at some point wish i didnt meet X but its not true. i still smile at our memories when it crosses my mind.
and again i ask myself dont u think X deserve better?
yes X does deserve better. the smile i see X has on her photos are the ones i never see before. the next time i find myself moping sad over how forgotten i am in X life i will ask myself again this above question. though im supporting non violence, i would actually be violent if i rob X of her smile she deserves. do i really want to see X gloomy n sad? and if i did see that would i be happy i caused someone so much of misery?
i think the greatest thing to this issue is when my friend told me i lost myself when i became to involved in X's life. i agree,i was lost and confused.
all this great life philosophies i write up here,its great talk. really. as to how much i can live up to whatever i write i dont know. i wish one day i can finally scream eureka! ive learned the principles above. and perhaps that was wat X presence is all about in my life.
recently in my revision class, one professor told us the best tears are always bittersweet. i wish those tears rolling down my cheek is bittersweet. becaude that would mean i am whole heartedly joyful for X.
A mother who had given birth to a stillborn baby was grieving,and she was struck with anger towards as why this had happened to her. Someone asked her, if given a choice,would u rather not have conceived this baby in the first place?
the mother obviously said no. it was worth it.
the reason why i thought about this was i had forgotten to ask myself a very important question.
given a chance, would i not known X?
i would answer what the mother answered above.
i only realised how much good things that had happened to me after X left. i was too busy focusing on the part X left, blamed myself and X. getting angry, sad and then hurt. its a viscious cycle.
i understood the above story but i understood it with my mind. i didnt accept it.
all this while, i think i own X. because of this i lost my individuality,maybe brought pain to X for my behaviour. because i think i owned X and its for this reason i think X should give in to whatever i ask for because this is how property ownership works.
what i didnt really get it was X came, shared a part of my life and left for her adventure. i wanted more and more of X. really.
the next time i start my mental torture i will again ask myself the same question.
i did at some point wish i didnt meet X but its not true. i still smile at our memories when it crosses my mind.
and again i ask myself dont u think X deserve better?
yes X does deserve better. the smile i see X has on her photos are the ones i never see before. the next time i find myself moping sad over how forgotten i am in X life i will ask myself again this above question. though im supporting non violence, i would actually be violent if i rob X of her smile she deserves. do i really want to see X gloomy n sad? and if i did see that would i be happy i caused someone so much of misery?
i think the greatest thing to this issue is when my friend told me i lost myself when i became to involved in X's life. i agree,i was lost and confused.
all this great life philosophies i write up here,its great talk. really. as to how much i can live up to whatever i write i dont know. i wish one day i can finally scream eureka! ive learned the principles above. and perhaps that was wat X presence is all about in my life.
recently in my revision class, one professor told us the best tears are always bittersweet. i wish those tears rolling down my cheek is bittersweet. becaude that would mean i am whole heartedly joyful for X.
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